My girlfriend (F27) and I (M26) embarked on a journey from strict monogamy to a conditionally non-monogamous relationship about a year into our two-year journey together. Here’s how it unfolded:

Background: I've always been open-minded about non-monogamy, having diverse experiences and friendships throughout college. Despite my openness, my girlfriend initially had reservations, which I respected during our first year together. However, over time, she evolved and became more receptive to non-monogamous concepts, though occasional struggles persist.

The Long-Distance Factor: Recently, I moved away for work, limiting our time together to a solid week every two months. This distance played a significant role in our decision to explore non-monogamy, recognising the challenges it posed to our relationship.

Conditional Openness: Our openness is strictly conditional. While I feel the need to explore sexually and socially, my girlfriend prefers the safety of our relationship without seeking extraneous connections. This dichotomy can sometimes feel imbalanced, with the potential for misinterpretation as one-sided cheating, a fear I've openly discussed with her.

Emotional Considerations: Another crucial aspect of our arrangement is considering each other's emotional state before engaging in extra-connections. If either of us is vulnerable, stressed, or dealing with personal issues, we mutually agree to pause our openness until the situation stabilises. However, this happens more frequently on her side, leading me to question things sometimes.

It's just like, I go out this one night and I know she's having a rough day so I hold myself back. I do it because I genuinely care for her and for our relationship. But then again, this happens to me quite often, and it sometimes leaves me thinking "so... open relationship... right? I mean, not tonight I guess?". It's also hard to explain it to people sometimes.

Conclusion: Our journey into conditional non-monogamy is a complex one, influenced by our individual needs, desires, and circumstances. While it presents challenges, communication and mutual understanding remain foundational to navigating this unorthodox relationship dynamic.