lol what

This sounds wonderful! I’m so happy for you that you’ve been able to create this kind of space for yourself and those around you. Thank you for sharing that with us!

I think your last paragraph is what resonates so much for me. It’s not to say I can’t accommodate those that I love in my space - but it’s important to me to have my own schedule too.

Oh man. The desire for a similar setup is what kind of clued me in to maybe solo poly being a better fit for me. I was all “I’d love to live with a partner. But we should have our own rooms. And maybe enough space to do things outside of my bedroom but I don’t have to be in their space. And people can come over and I don’t have to worry about bothering them. And I can go home without worrying about being perceived. Wait a minute…”

The notion of relationships being “limited” if the escalator isn’t even on the table is one of the things that I’m deconstructing now. I have a partner, who, for many reasons, we will never live together. I struggled with that for a bit because I would absolutely love to see more of them, but have recently realized that being further enmeshed would dramatically alter our relationship, and not necessarily for the better.

Appreciate you sharing thoughts & advice!