Hey all, so my wife and I are in the early stages of opening up our relationship. We have had quite a few talks and we are finally ready to start discussing boundaries and all. Here is my current list of things for us to think about before our talk but I want to ask if you all think I may be missing an important question. Thanks!

What kind of relationship structure?

What are some potential triggers?

How do we compromise/communicate if our boundaries are different or if one of us wants to change them?

If one of us crosses a boundary how do we navigate that?

Potential boundaries:

• How often will we see others
• How do we feel about spending the night
• How much communication is okay and when? (I.e. if we’re sitting next to each other on the couch and we’re texting someone is that okay or not okay)
• Dedicated date night/you and me alone time
• How much do we want to hear about other experiences
• Who in our lives do we tell and not tell
• How often should we get sti testing
• Is it okay to sometimes go without a condom or always wearing a condom
• Is there sexual acts that you wouldn’t be okay with doing outside of our relationship
• Is there anything else we want to keep for just us? Pet names, movies, tv shows, activities, restaurants, other places?
• What is allowed to happen at the house? Do we want no partners at the house at all, can they come over but we can’t be intimate with them, we can be intimate but not in our bed, etc
• If we want to spend money to go see our partners or for dates or gifts what does that look like
• When we are out with other people how much are we communicating?
• Do we potentially want to be with another person together or only separately?
• Do we want to meet partners? Never, only after a certain time, as soon as possible?
• Are we comfortable with sending nudes or only having sexual interactions in person?

Please let me know if you think anything needs to be added. We jokingly call ourselves over communicators so nothing is too much.