I feel emotionally distant with my non-monogamous partner (Male, 33).

Emotionally distant in the sense of trying to protect myself from him hurting me again.

We’ve been together for 2 years and I’ve been hurting since then, I am monogamous and he is non-monogamous. He’s been direct with me about it and I even saw his notes without him knowing, and it says, “My goal is to have ONE loyal and loving partner and many mistresses”.

He’s been territorial, he doesn’t want me to see other guys outside of relationship, wearing sports bra while doing yoga in the studio is not allowed, even dildos or sex toys for me is not allowed & having male friends is not allowed, he gets jealous every time I talked about that I made friend in a yoga studio and it’s a guy, he also keeps criticizing my actions to the point that I am afraid of giving suggestion or opinion because I’m always wrong and I will be rejected.

Now, I am attracted to my Yoga Teacher and I feel like I want to sleep with him because I am not sexually satisfied, I feel use in this relationship sexually, when my partner is done, there is no aftercare.

Me and the Yoga teacher are talking in whatsapp, more like flirty type of conversation but not sending nude pictures.

I feel bad too that I’m doing this to my partner but what else should I do? He is non-monogamous, he sleeps with a bunch of whres, he even have a trip to Bogota for 2 weeks because he said he wants his “freedom” but I know he’s just gonna sleep with bunch of Latina whres in there.

Ps. We have a 6 months old baby boy too. I feel really bad and guilty but what else should I do? I also need to save myself from hurting without leaving him because he doesn’t want me to leave even tho I attempted many times.