Hey everyone! Newb to the ENM life (open for about a year)

Husband and I (8yrs together) initially were looking for some FWB but have found ourselves in a more poly situation where we each have separate partners. Nothing is defined, and none of us were necessarily looking for a deeper relationship- but here we are. The new partners are amazing and we feel so lucky. But it ain’t without its challenges.

I really really enjoy my one on one time with the other guy. It’s great. No hard feelings at all. I am struggling though with my husband dating another girl. I feel so bad for this because I enjoy my solo time, so why do I feel weird about it for him? I don’t want to feel this way, but I also know ignoring my feelings isn’t going to help. Husband is aware of this and very supportive to slow things down more/end things if I need.

I know unlearning monogamy can take some time, but I’d love some supportive advice for anyone who worked through something similar! Maybe this isn’t the lifestyle for me?

I don’t feel what I would define as jealous about her- more just sad/uncomfortable. But when I see them together (if we all hang) I feel fine watching them kiss/cuddle/etc. It’s just the solo/separate stuff that sits weird with me.

Also, would defining things more be potentially helpful? To define how casual we are, if we want commitment, etc??? It feel so confusing!!

Thanks fam!!