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It just is crazy to me how everytime there's a post where someone reacts absolutely horribly to their partner for daring to bring up the idea of non-monogamy the comments are basically like "Ya they deserved it" "They ended the relationship as soon as they said they wanted to sleep with other people" or "They have someone in mind/already cheating".
You can't even dare to think about it and tell your partner, who is supposed to be a safe space, how you're feeling, if your needs aren't being met, or just fantasies without it being an attack on them personally or a fuck you to the relationship according to Reddit. Acting like that just breeds people to not communicate their desires and feelings to the one person they should be able to but we're the ones who are bad partners right?
He was pointing out even saying you fantasize about something ENM/group sex or do you think you'd ever want to explore ENM or would you ever want to go to a sex club Reddit encourages an instant breakup.
Change comes in different forms, though.
Changing your weekly routine or chores distribution is very different from altering fundamental terms of your relationship.
So yes, change is inevitable, but that doesn't mean that it isn't earth shattering for a monogamous person to find out that their partner wants non monogamy.
Subreddit
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- 10 months ago
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- View post on reddit.com
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- reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy...
It helps to approach it gently and from a place of trying to understand each other's wants, desires and fantasies.
We did this about all of our fantasies and sexual interests... seeking to share and understand each other.
Most people seem to be trying to persuade their partner to pursue a particular solution, instead of trying to arrive at a shared understanding.
My fiancee didn't say to me "I want to fuck other people" or "I want an open relationship", she opened up and was vulnerable about her feelings about missing out on certain things. She also made sure that I knew I was most important to her.
We also had the conversation early in our relationship (we were monogamous first) and weren't trying to "fix" anything.
It's still a risky conversation to have, but the right approach makes a world of difference.