Me and my husband have tried inviting a 3rd in before and it didn’t work out boundaries were pushed and if I’m honest a lot of insecurities came up for me. We stopped the polyamorous lifestyle for a while to give us time to heal. Our relationship has been rocky ever since and honestly before that as well. He has threatened a divorce on multiple occasions and we recently had a break. I brought wanting to go to a swinger club together to try and spice things back up. He seemed really into and we talks about it for hours. He made a comment that he wanted someone he could use when I’m not around. I told him I honestly would need time for that. That I wasn’t ready and wanted us to get into therapy first (something we have already agreed upon). He then told me that he no longer wanted to do any of it because he wasn’t going to deal with doing it again just to be told no all over again. That I was getting 100% and he was just getting 50% of our kinks. I tried explaining to him myself for and hour but then my resolve finally broke and agreed. He then told me I would need to find her so I couldn’t hold it against him later. I was told that I’m being toxic in this situation but I’m honestly not for sure anymore.