My wife and I aren't open, nor have we been in the past. We've beem together since we were teenagers and and more than satisfy each other sexually. We also both share the fantasy of having a threesome, so that's pretty much a sure thing at sometime in the future.
Something that gives me pause, is that after the first ENM experience, many couples go on to open things further like swinging and seeing others while remaining committed to each other. In many cases, it seems to become some sort of game. A seemingly transactional relationship between primary partners. Why is that? I don't like the idea of sex between my wife and I becoming casual or transactional. I want to keep that flame we share for each other alive but also, not deny either of us this shared experience.
Thoughts?
Many couples stay just monogamish, happy to do the occasional threesome and nothing more than that. There is nothing that says it has to progress.
Couples who do progress, do so because they discover that this excites them and they want to explore some more.
And I must correct you: having sex with others doesnât make the sex with your spouse transactional. Being able to have non-committed sex with strangers doesnât mean you suddenly have âcasualâ sex with your wife. Or if it does, itâs a sign your relationship has some other issues.
But to reiterate: You donât have to have a fully open relationship to enjoy the occasional threesome.
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