I've been seeing someone for a little bit. We've gone on several dates and I enjoy their company a lot. We have so much fun together, I find them attractive, intelligent, compassionate, empathetic, respectful. All the good things! I've found myself more and more hesitant to pursue a deeper romantic relationship/ sex and I've been a bit frustrated with myself over this reluctance. I think what it comes down to is I am worried we are too different and that they will reject me which makes it difficult to let feelings grow.

More specifically, where we do not align is over kink. They are not at all kinky. I enjoy heavy impact play and bruise easily so there will be marks and bruises, sometimes pretty extensive. They were honest that they were somewhat hesitant/unsure that would work for them. I don't think it's coming from a place of jealousy but more out of worry or concern. They aren't kinky so it doesn't make sense why I would want this.

Initially I felt on board with moving forward and seeing how it went if we pursued a sexual relationship but the hesitance I feel hasn't gone away. What I realized is that "testing it out" puts me in a vulnerable place and opens me up for rejection over a core piece of who I am. They were actually the one who pointed this out (emotional maturity and intelligence!!) and at the time I was quick to say I wouldn't feel that way. Ultimately I think they were right after giving it more thought. I don't want to feel bad about who I am, even if I know that wouldn't ever be their intention. They can't change that this might not work for them just as I can't change the fact that I am kinky... We are not compatible.

I wish we were SO MUCH. Ugh. I hope I'm doing the right thing and that they don't feel rejected or hurt.