My boyfriend and I had an open relationship the first couple months of dating, then closed it for a while, and then have just agreed to reopen it. I was pretty reluctant at first but I’ve become more open to the idea, I’ve grown more okay with it. But the reason he told me he wants to open the relationship hurts my heart a little, and I want to know if this is normal or if this is maybe a little cruel?

I’m 23 but I am infertile, I’ve had to undergo a hysterectomy. (But I still have eggs.) and my boyfriend has known this, and it’s always been something he was okay with. He said he didn’t know if he wants kids (but I have!) but if he does, we could get a surrogate, and he has a person who’s offered to do it even.

All of a sudden he’s completely changed his mind, and he said he wants to open the relationship specifically because he wants to open the relationship to meet another woman who he can have a child with within the next few years (he is 29). This broke my heart, because I don’t see how he and I could stay together if he’s raising a family with someone else, but he doesn’t want to break up. He said he doesn’t want to do the surrogacy thing with me anymore because “it sounds too difficult and expensive.”

I still love him but I feel like this was pretty cruel towards me, is this normal within non monogamous relationships?