This is our (both 30F) first time having a common FWB. I've had ONS encounters in the past, just once a year since we're still conservative doing ENM. I made sure to update her and did full disclosure soon as I can. I even wanna reconnect with her after each encounter.

This is her first time having someone while in a relationship. I'm already uncomfortable with us having a common FWB but I'm trying to be rational since she requires closeness/connection before opening up sexually. We talked about the reassurance I need whenever she's out with our FWB but she keeps doing the same things that make me uncomfortable. I do morning check ins with her, she doesn't.

There was also a time that they did it when I was blackout drunk. She didn't even ask me if I'm gonna be okay with that. I tried to be understanding that it could've been the three of us if I wasn't that drunk.

I don't feel heard in this relationship anymore. We've already had a lot of discussions abt this. We even made rules but she doesn't follow them. I just feel like I should be more patient with her since it's her first but I'm not comfortable with the fact that this is a constant thing with the same person. And I feel left out whenever they have a date. I'd be more at ease if she does it with different people but it's not her thing.

I'm not sure how we can meet halfway if ENM works for us differently.