So, to be brief: I really want to learn more about the experiences of other couples who have been struggling to define their open relationship/non monogamous relationship but feel like they've succeeded at this point.

And to give you guys a bit more of a backstory to where my question is coming from (for those who are interested):

I (F27) am in an open relationship with my partner (M28) for 1,5 years by now. We really love and care for each other but we've also experienced quite some difficulties along the way of defining our relationship. This is a first for the both of us. And we've experienced completely different things in the past in regards to relationships and sexual development.

The 'golden thread' which is recurring in almost all of our struggles has been that he feels like he's more ready for this kind of lifestyle than I am. I partially agree with this. It's a fact that he's had a more diverse sexual life than I have. But we've both experienced traumatic things which resulted in traumas affecting the way we think about relationships and (casual) sex in our own way.

So he's been left behind a lot in the past and has learnt to have a more casual look at relationships and sex in general. He is easygoing and adventurous when it comes to sex. For me, it's quite the opposite situation. I have learnt that it's necessary for me to feel safe and secure with my partner to be able to open up to a more non-monogamous lifestyle.

He's really eager to explore other people with and without me. But he feels like he needs to wait until I'm fully ready (we've had our fair share of exciting sexual adventures together) to explore on our own. But I would rather figure everything out together first. I feel like it's important to have a strong foundation first before I'm able to let go of feelings of insecurity.

I don't want him to feel like he has to wait for me to be as ready as he is, but I also don't know how to get there eventhough I really want to. There is no handbook for this as every relationship is different. Maybe your experiences can help us find our way together.