We initially started as open relationship but now I did some self reflection and realized that I love her too much to do this. I wish to have a monogamous and it is now a deal breaker for me. In other words, she can either switch to monogamy with me or I will leave this relationship.

I am open to both poly and mono relationships but with her, I feel like poly / open is not working.

If she doesn't want to choose me 100%, I want to be single and I want to use the time to look for someone who is actually compatible with my relationship preference. I do not have the time to juggle multiple partners if I don't see a future.

However, the last two times I brought this topic, my partner felt anxious, froze, didn't speak a word, cried, and then again froze. She is having difficulty choosing monogamy with me vs breaking up with me. She doesn't know what to do. I told her you don't have to decide immediately, you can take your time.

Next time I brought this, she again froze and I felt an underlying panic in her emotional state. I again gave her more time.

To create a safe space, I started the conversation with telling how much I appreciate and love her etc. I really want her to talk about this to me in an open way. But it seems she is unable to. She becomes extremely quiet.

However, now this is killing me inside. I don't know where we stand. She never brought this conversation again herself. How long should I wait?

If she is unable to decide, should I breakup without giving her the monogamy option?