How do other couples handle single females?

My bf and I (bi f)have been together in the lifestyle for over 10 years. We mostly play with single females at clubs and parties or hot wife couples. Over time I have become ok with solo play for him with couples and females I know and am comfortable with. I am ok with him attending specific house parties without me as long as communication is there and discussed before hand. My rule has always been if communicating with single females it must be group chat. Once friends and I feel there is respect for me and our relationship I am then ok with private chat between bf and single female. Other than that, communication between bf and I and condom use are our only other rules. Do these seem like standard acceptable rules?

My predicament: We have been interested in finding a regular single female to join us. Kind of a girlfriend for us. We previously had one a few years ago and the dynamic worked really well for us until she moved away. We included this desire in our online profile with our local clubs website. We received interest from a single female new to the lifestyle. We had plans to meet at our local club on Saturday. She sent a group text on Friday afternoon inviting us over that evening to meet first since she had a lot of questions about the lifestyle and club and how things work. Since this was such last minute , I already had plans but was ok with bf meeting with her to answer questions. She seemed very nice, polite and genuine. Meeting went well,and we all then met the following night at the club. Group texts sent by female both after Friday and Saturday thanking bf and I for all the info, help and fun. Seems all good. Wrong. At this point she starts texting bf privately and conveniently needing to stop over to talk when she knows I am out of town. I have asked repeatedly that communication be a group chat. She has ignored my requests with no response to me. Am I wrong to request the bf to not communicate or play with her. What are other couples rules regarding single females?

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