I'mma try this again. Last time it looked great on my screen, but everyone else saw a bunch of missing letters.

the fuck, reddit?

So look, here's the deal! I was there once, seeing my hubs get attention from someone else rubbed my abandonment issues 20 different ways in the beginning, waaayyy back. I sincerely get it.

Your meta is a human being. Not your discounted Adam & Eve toy. Not something to revitalize your dying marriage. Not something to kill your marriage. A human being, with thoughts, feelings, dreams and nightmares of their own.

If your meta doesn't want to talk to you, respect that.

If your meta doesn't want their information or relationship shared with you, respect that.

Your spouse, is not someone you're entitled to, just because they're your spouse. Y'all are legally bound to each other by taxes and legal documents at a courthouse. None of those things entitle you to their time, information, or anything really.

It is up to them to respect the boundaries y'all agreed to, but y'all really gotta stop putting boundaries on anything other than shit directly related to you.

Your spouse owes you NOTHING, and they can as easily cheat on you in Monogamy just like they could in non monogamy.

If y'all want a kitchen table style of open relationship, let your meta know that upfront and EVERYTHING that comes with that dynamic while you're there.

And for the love of everything holy, ASK YOUR META before you make a decision that could directly or indirectly involve them! If your relationship is on the rocks and there might be a threat of closing, it's a good idea to tell them ahead of time so they can mentally prepare. Y'all be out here giving abandonment issues like Oprah gives presents...

you get abandonment issues

YOU get abandonment issues.

EVERYONE GETS ABANDONMENT ISSUES!

For the couples who say "keep it just sex and no feelings", just stop. Y'all are weird. Sex and run huh, like that won't have someone feeling like a used sock. Good job. (There are some people who are good with this, and no shame to y'all. But the people who do this to people who are NOT good with that, that's who the insult is for. We don't slut shame here.)

And also, if ANY intimacy is involved, there will be some sort of feeling eventually. You're fighting a losing battle that will end in someone's heart being broken.

Respect your spouses
Respect your metas

STOP BEING WEIRD!

Sincerely a couple that wanted to rant.