Edited: After I posted this, I looked at it, and it's long as shit. Damn I talk a lot when I'm in my feelings 🤣🤣🤣🤣

TLDR: I got broken up with twice in two days. They did nothing wrong, I did nothing wrong, it just sucks and it feels different than a romantic break up to me, so I'm venting about it, but its RSD and ADHD inspired so there's moments of excitement and a rabbit hole about my relationship dynamic in there too, enjoy!

Well, that overnight I had planned on Saturday would have been a bust had it not been for luck being on my side and my only FWB left having time free to hang out with me. I don't need advice, I just need a place to air some feelings off my chest for this update.

Fuck me

No one prepares you for the friend breakups, and my RSD is having a field day. Both of them broke up with me because they couldn't give me the communication level that I required. Nothing wrong with that, and the way they handled it, was healthy. I can't be mad and honestly I'm not, but I do have some feelings to get off my chest.

I don't ask for a lot, but consistent communication is one of them. Being left on delivered for long lengths of time, anywhere from 9-12 hours on average, consistently, triggers the fuck out of my RSD. I'm upfront about this in the beginning of my relationships. I can work with you, just tell me what's going on. I have ADHD too, object permanence is a mofo. I get it, but leaving me in the dark isn't cool for me. Some people don't mind, but I do.

I attach easily. It's not major heartbreak by any means, one fwb I knew for two weeks and the other maybe a week in a half. But what kills me the most about it, you couldn't even stay friends? They don't have to, and they weren't ugly about it so I'm not angry, my feelings are just a little hurt.

For me, my FWB friendships are moreso held almost like a casual romantic relationship. We enjoy talking every day or whenever we have some free time. We look for friends that want the same thing. We enjoy the romance, the dates, sleepovers, cuddles, gifts just because, all of the fun things about dating without the major commitments like vacations and major holidays. (We have children. They come first to us. If ANYONE is getting a vacation, or some cool ass major holiday shenanigans, its them! Buuuuuut, we celebrate pagan holidays, and lemme tell ya, it does wonders for the holiday schedule! We're actually hosting our first annual yule party for our little polycule this year. I'm so excited! We're shooting for a Summer Solstice event, and a Samhain party too!! Parties are kid friendly, we have quite a few kiddos in our polycule, so PG. Even my husband and I keep PDA to a minimum). We like our dynamic how it is though, its comfortable for us. For us, its like the feeling of having a crush on a friend, and doing all the cute things, having sex and you can talk about it with them 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥰😘

I can't really blame myself. I did all the right things, was upfront with my boundaries, my dynamic and what it looked like, my needs, and wants for the relationship from the jump. I was nothing but polite and respectful, and I communicated directly, but politely about my needs as they came up. I can't blame them either. They did all the right things too.

Did they have to be back to back though?! 🤣😅

The first break up yesterday, fine. It stung for like, an hour. My feelers were only slighted bruised.

Then I got broken up with this morning and now I'm just like, damn... ain't that a bitch? 🤣🤣

Thanks for listening to this jumbled mess of an update. I feel a lot better about it after just getting it all out. I definitely think it was just the fact I got broken up with twice, and it triggered my RSD. My husband has been a saint during all of this. We just haven't had the best luck with ENM this week. We on the other hand have been fabulous though, so I'm really thankful for him. He was a blessing from the Gods today, that's for damn sure.

Oh, before I end this, I'm buying Polywise this week. Polysecure helped me a TON. I want the next one.... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣