Hey there, I'm new here.

So my partner and I have been together for 4 years. We decided we would be non-monogamous from the start but between the pandemic and limited resources we found ourselves unable to practice non-monogamy.

My partner has had crushes on other people, but never acted because she's very shy. I mostly kept to myself. Our sex life together has been non-existent for at least 3 years.

Things are getting a little better now and I'm eager to open up and start exploring. My options are pretty limited because I am a transgender person (MtF) with a fairy androgynous look. Not many people are into that. Also, I'm mostly into women and female forms. My hormone replacement therapy has also made my sexuality a bit more unpredictable (erections are more difficult to achieve, PIV sex is no longer the focus, lots of things just feel different, etc.).

Long story short, I wound up on a swingers website. I never really considered the swingin scene because it seems very straight or at least heterosexual-centered. But I am eager to try something new, meet different people and explore my sexuality.

I know my partner will never be into swinging, sex parties, or hookups - and I think I'm ok with it, as long as she lets me experiment. She is (and always has been) free to date other people, and I have been supportive whenever she expressed interest in dating/having sex with other people.

Even with all the precautions and care, I know that it's going to be hard to make it work. I am afraid that she sees the swingers' scene as something dirty or creepy.

So I am curious to know if there are couples here where only one partner is active in the lifestyle. If yes, how do you do it? Do you have any advice to give?

I originally posted this in r/Swingers but this is probably a better place for my question.