We're both female in our 30s. We've been together for 6yrs, nonmonogamous for 4. I'm the more extroverted one so I get to meet a lot of people but I've mostly done ONS or no strings attached setup. It was never emotional and I never meet with them constantly. She's the opposite, she likes ongoing friendships and emotional intimacy. I've had 5 encounters throughout our relationship. She haven't had any since she values emotional vs sexual connections but she had a romantic interest before.

I met someone that apparently we both liked. I've had solo dates with her before introducing her to my SO. They talk online and we've had our first trio date. It was wholesome and fun until our 2nd date. I felt left out. I was asked uncomfortable questions. I felt like they're ganging up on me since I've had more encounters. I felt like I was the bad guy. I also noticed our third being more attracted to my partner eventhough I made the efforts to connect and introduce them to each other.

I don't wanna be selfish. I just plan on letting this be their thing. I'd rather have her explore independently instead of dragging me on dates and leaving me out or painting me as a bad guy to make her look good. I know it wasn't her intention but that's what I felt that night. I've voiced out this concern to her but I don't think we've reached a solution yet.