So I rightly just got nuked into oblivion for asking this question on r/Polyamory and got pointed in this direction. I'll ask it here with some amendments because I in fact learned there's a lot of stuff I didn't know to even consider. I'm curious if what has happened/is happening has a name or if its common or just. I dunno I guess just wanna know more.

Hi there.

So, I've recently got to know someone who initially was very aloof in a writing group me and some others formed and its started turning into something more. Eventually they opened up around the holidays I was absolutely electrified with their personality and we've spent hours staying up watching anime together online as we talk about our writing projects and each other since we have windows of time in both our lives where its easy to be together. After some time of this the L word just kinda started happening and we started flirting and teasing each other relentlessly. Mind you, this is all remote since he lives so far away. Our talks almost always devolve into disgusting bouts of swooning and flirting and emotional support that is almost identical to how much I care for my wife and its uncanny...

Now, my partner and I have been together for 10 years and we have three children. We're solid as steel, open about literally everything, she knows my raging bisexual nature that flourished as I overcame my religious indoctrination and that I'm very passionate in the way that I show affection for people. She's said she doesn't give two solitary shits what I'm doing so long as actual (I assume penetrative haven't gone into too much detail there) sex does not occur and I'm not going to breech that.

Both of my "Partners" know the situation with each other and the restriction(s) in place and everyone says they are ok with the arrangement. Not that I wouldn't WANT to do intimate stuff if presented with the opportunity. And we haven't discussed like Video sex or that sort of thing or VR sex. She knows we do sensual text roleplay and pokes fun at me about it in a fun way.

I was not seeking an open relationship or anything, this just kinda happened. Never felt this for a man before, or anyone other than my wife before.

Sorry if this doesn't belong anywhere and I accept my fate if it gets erased again.

​