I found out my bf is bisexual by discovering his Reddit account. We have a considerable age gap, but we also have so much in common that our families don't mind the gap, and both of our friend groups are comprised of various genders, ages, cultures, and backgrounds. All of that to say, I was utterly shocked to learn that he's bisexual- though to be fair, I have questioned his heterosexuality after hearing certain jokes and other harmless occurrences. The kicker here is that he's also been posting his nudes to his profile, as well as commenting on various scandalous posts in other subs. We had both lamented our displeasure with porn use while in a relationship, as well as established our status as monogamists; however, that was when we first started chatting and were only fwb.

Now you might think l'm upset about everything, and last night definitely had me reaching a breaking point of sorts... but l'm actually not upset anymore. I think I'm poly but in denial, and I think he is too. He was incredibly heart broken when I told him what I had discovered, despite me calmly saying that. He's been having instances all throughout the day, even when visiting friends, in which he randomly bursts into tears and has to leave the room to calm down. For those reasons, I feel like he really does want to be with me. I'm having trouble finding the words to sav to him about it all. I've asked him twice today if he's sure he's monogamous, and he's insistent on the fact that he is- but now I don't think that / am.

I'm primarily concerned about the possibility that he'll think l'm being disingenuous, and maybe even spiteful, when I officially have this conversation with him. I can tell he's at the edge of his seat with anxiety, awaiting what I have to say and ask. I simply want to tell him that I'm not monogamous, and that I still want to be with him despite his lying to me and doing scandalous things in secret. Any help would be appreciated.