When my husband and I opened, we started with hotwifing, which we both enjoyed. We've since added on solo dating and group play. Originally, the agreement for solo dating came with a requirement for me (the wife) to take pictures/videos to later share with him. I've fallen down on that nearly all of the time because of reasons I'll outline in a second. I'm curious what people's feelings are on this, aside from the issue of agreeing to something and then realizing that it's not something I'm comfortable with. He and I have talked about it. I remain uncomfortable and he remains very disappointed about it, so sort of an impasse.

Here are my reasons:

1. I've never been photogenic and although he says he doesn't care what I look like and I respect his feelings on that and can accept that he thinks I'm beautiful always... seeing myself in pictures or videos really makes me cringe hard. In person I think I look fine. Cameras hate me. Even in my best makeup and hair, dressed nicely... I just can NOT stand seeing myself in pictures. I've allowed my husband to do pictures and videos of us together, and he shares the rare ones where I think I look okay with me. Otherwise I never want to see the vast library of pics of me that he's amassed. And that's him. He loves me, therefore he sees the best in me even on shitty photos. I don't expect dates to also always see me as 100% beautiful. So again, cringe.

2. In any setting, whether it's vanilla/nonsexual vacations or hot dates, I prefer to live in the moment, not behind a fucking camera. When we go on vacations, he does the photography. I am there, present, experiencing the situation with my own eyes and senses. I feel this even more strongly on dates because I want to focus on my partner. I hate having to interrupt our play to take pictures.

3. And putting a camera on a tripod? I'm still struggling not to spectate myself/my performance during sexual encounters (see Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski). Knowing I'm on camera makes me self conscious about angles, views, do I look okay. In other words, it makes me spectate HARD and removes my enjoyment of my partner and my own body.

I feel like since we have a nice mix of 3some/group play as well as solo dates, that's fair and he's a little unreasonable in being as disappointing in the lack of pictures/vids of my solo dates. It's not like he's totally excluded from hot fun. Or am I being the unreasonable one? Is there a middle ground on this?