Hello!

So, I’m a 28 y/o woman who identifies as a sub and is new to ENM!

My partner and I recently decided to open our relationship (of 5 years) to allow us to delve into our kinks, rediscover our individual selves, and strengthen our connection with each other. We have a couples therapist that we seek weekly who helped us make this decision and is guiding us through conflict and helping us strengthen our communication skills.

We are not interested in playing with others together. She’s not very interested in playing with others at all and I initiated this openness (she doesn’t want to call it poly which I get!) as I very much want to explore bdsm and kinks. I’m interested in…bondage, needle play, knife play, cnc to name a few.

So, here is where I start to ask you wonderful folks for advice…I do not want like another gf of the sorts either, but find it hard to imagine exploring my particular kinks without having a more intimate relationship…

Just want to ask if anyone has experience with this? When screening for play partners is it possible to ask for intimacy / friendship and be clear that I don’t want anything romantic? How do you all manage this?

My plan when / if I find a potential partner to share the following information:

Relationship Intentions & Expectations:

• Friendship (with benefits)
• Play partner to explore d/s and other kinks
• I do not want another romantic partner, gf, bf, etc
• My partner does not want to be friends with my playmates at this time
• Expectations would be to communicate if any feelings change, if any boundaries broken, or need breaks
• Expectation to keep open communication as above but also I’m really into affirmations and texting esp when getting to know someone new

If anyone has any resources, guides, stories - it would be so appreciated!

Thanks!