Hey all!

I'm trying to figure some stuff out about a guy I met on field, without directly asking him. I'm married and looking for a long-term FWB to form a meaningful and very sexual connection with, maybe something between poly and FWB. I'm not interested in hookups.

He's 48, on Feeld saying he's a single professional seeking a meaningful connection and partner who is looking to explore. He says he has "experience with a variety of life structures, ENM, poly, open, etc." and that he's "been around long enough to never say never and not let expectations get in the way of great experiences."

We matched and I learned he lives downtown in a nearby city. He's a good communicator (or maybe a smooth talker, IDK). He clarified to make 100% sure my husband was on board, says he's not interested in illicit affairs etc. He says his dream is to find a smart sexy soulmate to explore with, with a strong connection and compatibility. Someone he can trust and can enjoy being with. He says he doesn't have his hopes up, because he hasn't found it yet. I asked how long he's been single and he says his last relationship was 1.5 years ago and he's not partnered.

I'm not familiar with the swinger culture but I'm familiar with what the term "single male" means in that context. I'm getting the impression maybe this guy identifies as a swinger "single male" because of some of the things he's said. He says he's been in "the lifestyle" on and off for 20 years. When I mentioned that my ex FWB got overly jealous of my husband he said he's "been around long enough to know what I'd be getting into being FWB with a woman in a relationship, and I'm well-equipped for that." He also said he's open to MFM play and has had several couples as playmates over the years, "never say never" and that he's up for anything.

Do you think my intuition is correct? Why would a man choose to be a single male in the swinger community, if he's looking for a meaningful connection? Aren't the two concepts at odds?

I don't want to waste my time if he's actually just looking for someone to swing with - a ticket into swinger events. If he was poly or ENM all this time, I'd think he'd have some long term partners already but he says he doesn't.

Thoughts? Suggestions on how I can feel this out further?