So my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship together for 4 years now and have opened up about a year ago. He was reluctant to the idea at first but realized he actually really wanted to do it as well.

We started off with just exploring ourselves with porn first and then moved on to threesomes. It went well and eventually, we started being able to have solo play. Though, it’s been tricky because he hasn’t nearly enough as solo play as I have, he always confirms with me that he really doesn’t mind and it turns him on more than anything else. I still feel bad that it hasn’t been even.

Now, we’ve very rarely talked about being nonmonogamous romantically and had some pretty unclear boundaries on it because we didn’t think about it much. Recently, he’s been talking to someone he really likes and the person really likes him back. We’ve had a couple of really deep and transparent conversations with each other about how to handle it and how I even feel about it in the first place.

We’ve ended up on setting our relationship as primary/anchor(not sure of the terminology) and some limitations on the other one. He’s taking it slow with the other guy, but for some reason I can’t shake this weird, gut feeling. Even though they’re not in a relationship, I definitely feel NRE. I’m pretty insecure about myself and if im enough, but he’s really reassuring and loving. I always thought I’d be okay with this, and to some extent I am. Just not as much as I thought I would have, what should I do? Does this mean i’m not ready or it isn’t for me? I just want to stop feeling confused.