Hi!

Just for context. I'm working on many many levels of sexual trauma rn. I'm highly partnered with someone very sexual. Now to the story:

Even since it was ok to go out again, my partner and I are on a quest to make friends in the non mono community; Which has sucked so far.

Why do ppl always assume I'm in for the sex if my partner is? And also: why do ppl always assume we're in for the sex at all?? No conversations, no building a friendship just "oh so you're non monogamous? Why not have sex with me, my gf/bf and maybe even my whole group of friends?" automatically. Very aggressive flirting. Many times ppl have asked my partner for sex with me without even talking to me about it just bc (i think) I'm closed off to it and my partner is very openly sexual.

Is this really how the community works? Is it impossible to find actual friends with no sex involved??? Do ppl really move this fast and I'm the weird one? (I live in Brazil and ppl tend to be more sexually open than other cultures)

I've searched in many places, in many different groups and that's their reaction to us 99% of the time.

So far we have one poly couple as friends bc we feel respected and secure around them. I feel respected and secure around them. Sz.

I feel like this shouldn't be the exception tho :(

Help? I feel so alone and outside the curve...