We each separated from abusive spouses about a year ago. This is both of our first serious relationship since then. Her divorce is finalized, and mine is in a custody battle for my 4y.o. son.

We probably moved too quickly, but it was kinda whirlwindy, and we became exclusive almost immediately after our first date. At 3 months I let her meet my son, and we've now been dating for 6. In the last month she's pulled back and tried to slow things back down and I feel I've been accepting and understanding of that.

Before our respective marriages, she was a casual dater and I was pretty depressed and don't have much relationship experience.

I've made some mistakes in this relationship: I hadn't moved past my X as fully as I'd thought, and out loud talked about her and compared my girlfriend (positively) to my Xwife.

My girlfriend for her part made a bad habit of not bringing up issues until they were making her anxiety go into over drive and kinda dumping it on me.

She seems to feel that she can't work on her issues in a “serious, committed relationship.” And she just proposed that we cool things off to a non-exclusive Friends with Benefits type relationship. She says she loves me, and isn't planning on looking for dates, but that the pressure of “serious committed relationship” is too much right now, but wants me in her life.

We talked about boundaries, and having to discuss ahead of time any dates so that the other person, mainly me, isn't constantly worried that sometimes code for a date, especially because in a month I'll be mostly gone for work for the next 4 months.

However, I don't know that I want to see other people, and am like 99% sure that if she actually does go on a date/fucks some one else, I will not be ok with that.

Do I just roll with this hoping she won't actually date anyone else, or is this a disaster?