I’m honestly confused. Amongst ENM/poly practitioners, the conventional wisdom, oft repeated here, is that there are like 100 guys to one woman, and responses to personal ads bear this out. (Maybe 100 is exaggerating, but there’s definitely a gap. )

But if you just take open marriages, it should be equal, unless it’s just the husbands looking for additional partners, and the wives stay mono.

Is the discrepancy only amongst solo poly people? Presumably most people, men and women, have a partner or two at least from time to time. All those women can’t possibly be dating 50 guys each.

What am I missing? Has anyone done some research on this?