My husband and I have been married 8 years and married 10, my husband has bad sexual performance anxiety to the point we haven’t had sex for almost 5 years but had it a few times a few months ago after being on viagra that only helps 30% of the time.. being with someone who has some sort of mental ED has taken a toll on me mentally, and physically. Every sexual encounter we have is all about him and trying to get him to the pergola to the point where it’s more fun for me.. he once referenced sex as a chore. feeling frustrated I told my husband that I need a break from the marriage or we need to open it.. as he is a GREAT partner and I love him but he is not getting better, I found him therapists, bought books, etc. which he don’t really put in any effort to fed... anyway he reluctantly agreed as he said he didn’t want to loose me.. he said his only rules are 1) don’t ever leave him for another cguy an 2) don’t fall in love with another man 3) he don’t want to hear ANYTHING about it.. and don’t want me to mention NOTHING ..I am skating on breaking rule 2 as I have started taking to a new guy and had a sexual encounter with him a few weeks ago but would never act on it beyond sex because this other and guy wouldn’t be long term compatible with me . I tried to encourage my husband to date but he kind of got upset and cut me off (honestly if another woman could do for him what I seemingly can’t I would owe her lol) anyway I am only interested in this other guy and not little partners but it kind of feel like I am cheating as I hide my text, hide my calls etc .. but when I mention or remind him we are in an open marriage he just say “I know” but still want me to change the subject