I (27M) and my husband (30M) are in an open relationship. We’ve been doing this for about 4 of the 7 years we’ve been together with almost no issue. We opened up our relationship due to his insecurity with lack of experience in terms of sex. It was huge bone of contention between the two of us and almost broke us apart a few years ago.

We normally play together but have been starting to play separately, with rules and such which are being respected. We recently invited a third over for a threesome. Everything went well. About two weeks after, with permission, I slept with the third alone. It suddenly brought up his insecurities again because he is worried I’m going to continue to have more experiences than he is, even though in the two years we’ve been doing this, he’s the second person I’ve slept with alone. My husband travels often for work and has plenty more opportunities than I do since I’m always stuck with the small pool of candidates in our small town. He has understandably expressed worry that the third is not interested in him and that it feels shitty that he wasn’t included (my husband had been back from a work trip when it happened where he did his own playing). I need to add that when the three of us slept together, my husband was the one who told the third him and I should play separately while he’s out of town.

My husband and I had a few nights where we were both quiet and weird with each other but we did talk about it. Like I said, he felt excluded from the conversation because the day the third and I slept together when my husband was already back home and one of our rules is that we do it when one is away. I had asked him beforehand to make an exception to which he was ok with. He said that I will always be ahead of him in experiences and that it wasn’t a good feeling for him. I asked if he wanted me to stop seeing the third and he said “well we can either sleep together or you can stop because it’s shitty to me that you’d sleep with someone who isn’t into your husband.” The third is definitely into him but I don’t think they are completely sexually compatible since they are both submissive verse bottoms.. I’m being selfish in saying this but I don’t think it’s fair I would need to stop. My husband goes to big cities all the time and has ample opportunity and I finally found someone local who I’m comfortable with and now it’s an issue.

I know this was long but I hope at least someone reads this and can offer a bit of insight. I’m not sure how to move forward.