Here's the deal: Tyler and I have been together for 2 years now and have been non-monogamous the whole time. Before him, I was monogamous but had an open mind for ENM. We don't have a lot of rules/boundaries except transparency and honesty with each other and our partners. I've been proud of the progress I've made unlearning jealousy/insecurity.....until recently.

Last weekend we were out at some bars with a big group of friends when I had to leave to go to an event I was invited to. Tyler stayed out with his close friend/coworker Nadia and got too drunk to drive home, so they went to her place and ended up fooling around. They didn't even have sex or anything yet I still feel so...heavy. Nadia has been in the picture for a while and they've both hung out together without me and with me. I shouldn't be surprised that it happened and I never expressed not wanting it to happen, yet I feel appalled with how big my feelings are. He met with her the other day to return some things he borrowed, and I guess they didn't talk about it, but there was a vibe that it might happen again. Tyler isn't inter her romantically in any way, but he expressed wanting to go all the way next time.

There's a lot of factors that go into my feelings around it, and honestly not all of them are rational. I know I shouldn't, yet I feel the comparison between us with me being the domestic partner and her being the fun, down-for-anything girl. I've been going through some health issues that have severely affected my body image and I felt really unsexy that night it happened. I've also been around Nadia
a lot and she's never been particularly friendly with me, but she's also never been weird or catty; just very dry. We've even joked about him and Nadia hooking-up before, but we also joked about how messy/awkward it could be considering they're coworkers. I also feel the bad timing considering we're NP's and working on house hunting, moving, holiday planning, etc.

Tyler has been very understanding of my feelings, but I don't want him to feel like he can't go out and have fun on his own. He's had a number of partners I know, love and have no issues with and that we've even talked about in a sexual manner while we're being intimate. Yet, with Nadia, it all feels different. I know I'm probably not making sense, but any sort of feedback or advice would be really helpful. I'm not sure who to talk to about my feelings since I don't want to dump them all on my partner.