Nothing bad, let me start there.

I took a lot of y'alls comments in from my post about my date. I didn’t do anything wrong, but it definitely could have communicated it better, considering I'm posting in a public forum.

I'm not going to say I'm sorry, because I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still do see places I could communicate more clearly nonetheless.

That's that, now its time for the actual update.

Hubs and I are doing really good actually.

My biggest revelation for myself is that, while I did monogamy for years, it's because I thought it was my only option, and it was an obligation. That's what I was taught to do. I've always been attracted to multiple people at a time. I've tried not to be. I really did.

It never ended well. I cheated once, and I actually stopped it, the moment I noticed I caught feelings. I felt so horrified. Thankfully, it didn't destroy my marriage. My husband forgave me, I thought that was so odd. He could trust me immediately after. He cheated too, (emotionally), I wasn't so forgiving. I should have been, but there's A LOT of trauma as to why I wasn't. He understands, and I understand his old trauma responses too.

It all makes sense now.

As I go through the therapy that only non monogamy can provide, I'm finding more security than I ever have. Old wounds that I thought would never heal are closing. We're using so much healthier coping mechanisms, I thought our communication was great before, nope...not at all.

I actually..fully trust my husband, and he has room to make mistakes....

I actually love myself...I think I'm pretty dope. I'm a human being doing the best I can and having fun while doing it.

It's okay, to have a bad day. It doesn't mean the cycle of healing has been broken. It means we had a human moment. Dude I feel more sane than I EVER have. I used to rack my brain and wonder why I couldn't feel trust and love and compassion.

Now don't get it twisted, if we would have tried non monogamy at any other point than now, we would have failed. Therapy was a must, still is. BUT, we did the right damn thing when we did, you can't change my mind on that.

Squee 🥰