A little background info

Wife(34f) and I(39m) have been in the LS as swingers off and on for almost 7 years now. We started by environs guys for mfms and gradually moved to couples swaps. Along the way we did dabble a little with separate one on one play but that was not all that common

To the struggling, wife has recently opened up about her wants to have a strictly physical male partner on the side. I have struggled with this for a couple of reasons.

1. Ease of how easy it is for her to find someone
2. How difficult it is for me to find anyone. It is too the point where I have given up as it is just too much work

This is part of the reason I decided in the past that separate play is not for me as I struggle with this piece.

Through talking, I have given her the green light to try it out once and go from there but I still do not like or honestly want this. I feel though that it is not fair to her because of my jealousy and insecurities.

I don’t know what to do but it has gotten to the point of me considering completely getting out of the LS in general. She would still have the option of a guy partner on the side however.

I really want to try and be happy for her as seeing her happy is the most important thing for me even if it means deep down it is doing harm to myself.

Just venting and honestly not sure what I am trying to figure out or learn.