My partner and I (both 31F) are supposed to be going on a vacation in a few weeks. I've been having an extremely difficult time recently with depression and anxiety (on and off for my whole life but I'm going through a bit of an episode, if you know, you know.). ENM has always been difficult for me. I'm in therapy and still learning how to best be in this kind of partnership.

She's very DTF. It seems like her intention for the trip are to flirt and hook up with people. I don't think I can mentally handle that right now, especially in a foreign country. I'd like to suggest she go alone (even though I'd lose a lot of money, nonrefundable, no credits available) instead of having to feel like she needs to censor herself or hold back.

I'd absolutely love to play together but that hasn't happened yet, she gets most of the attention (she's hot & she knows it...I'm struggling with my self-confidence at this moment).

Does anyone have experience in this realm? How do I approach this conversation.