So I posted a few days ago about not 100% understanding monogamy and being so hurt that my mono gf left me but trying my best to be understanding. Turns out when she said she had stopped talking to people on hinge (a few weeks before the breakup), a few days later she kept talking to people. Not communicating like agreed upon.

Everything just seemed so weird that I looked through her ipad and her imessages. I asked her to give me my car back or I would call the cops after what I found. I didn't want someone lying to me to keep taking advantage of me helping them. It's my property, I asked for it back and she wasn't returning it because she was "scared I woukd hurt her", even though I never have hurt her. Her hiding made it seem so much worse. Yes I know that is beyond wrong, but everything to me seemed more than just not being into non monogamy.

It turns out there were a lot of guys she was messaging. I knew this beforehand but there were quite a few after she said she had stopped. She didn't tell me more came into the picture like our rules implied. She didn't focus on me or our relationship or dates or communicating with me. She just keeps repeating I was in a low spot and that we kept arguing about boundaries... Well yes, because I needed you to be there for me, to slow down on the NM stuff, not feel you drift away wanting to date others but not date me. "Well you don't like to come do things with me when I invite you", and I had to explain I'm an introvert, I don't always want to go. That I took care of most of the finances and that I didn't have loads of spare money, especially after buying a car to help her broke ass with shit credit get a car (thankfully both in my name only. She wanted me to cosign). She has a nursing degree but can't pass the final test. I've been nothing but supportive financially and emotionally, but she doesn't like when I give it to her straight about the hard truth that she needs to get her shit in order. Even when I tried being tactful about it, she would still get mad at me. Like I'm the bad guy for trying to make sure we can survive and save. Forgive me for not wanting to afford every time she goes out with friends or family, or that our alternate schedules didn't line up, especially after her getting her new job. I tried to go though when I could. I often had fun if I went even though I didn't want to. I can see how that can be extremely annoying, but it's like she is so oblivious to the financial situation or like she has barely every even understood me. I even let her have her own credit cards under my account to make it easier on her financially, and to help build her credit

She started dressing up taking longer more than usual the past month or so. Never inviting me. I just figured she knew I didn't like country night. Turns out she had sex with this guy she was already talking to, the literal same day she broke up with me. Our rules were no dates, only flirting and sex for now if that happens, but it would have to be discussed in advance. But then their messages (on thursday) the day after the breakup (wednesday) are talking about wanting to see him again at country night... AGAIN! Country night is on fridays. So she was going behind my back. She says she didn't cheat, that she did the deed after we broke up, but that's such a technicality. There was cheating in my book. It was deceitful. There were a lot of questionable messages from what I could tell. If anything, so much flirting that had borderline stopped with me. That wasn't the plan when opening up to be sidelined

It feels like I'm being gaslit into being a horrible person. I haven't been the best. I have my issues of anger and ignoring people when I'm angry. Me being supportive and trying my best to be patient... It's really horrible how it feels like everything is so clear and sudden feeling. All the yellow flags that were actually red... And we still live together. I let her sleep on the bed while I took the couch most days. We had sex a few days ago and I asked if she did anything with someone else. She said no and acted all weird about wanting us to stop but also wanting to continue. Yesterday she denies me ever asking about someone else. So now I need to get tested for stds... I took her off all my financial stuff before this thankfully. And she still has the audacity to say she still wants us to be friends... Idk wtf is even going on anymore

Fuck this shit