We absolutely are open to this. I just got tested and was going to share the results with the guy I'm going out with if things continue to progress.

How do you protect yourself from oral transmission of diseases? Is it just like a gamble or can you mitigate risk. That was our only concern. We would be OK with it once we were with someone long enough. This was more at the beginning or with new people

And we wouldn't expect our other partners to cut off their other sexual, emotional, or romantic endeavors

Probably only 1 at a time. We really don't have that mich free time to balance more than that and be present with everyone

Yeah we have accepted there is going to be risk regardless

Forgot to put that in but it was dicussed

We think or relationship is completely secure but we understand that nonthing is 100%. I think your right with really taming this into consideration. I know most people would probably say they are secure but I feel and hope that we are strongly bonded enough and into each other that we wouldn't move on from one another.

Honestly though we went into this feeling very happy together. Our lives are a little enmeshed but we have overcome so much together I don't know how another person could match that. If someone does though idk if we would leave our primary partner for the other but rather include them in our lives. Idk maybe I'm being to idealistic.

I just downloaded the app. We are gona try it out!

O like a tracking app? That seems intense haha

Sorry I fixed it to appropriate check ins

We will have to buy some and put that in our rules

We were kinda doing that naturally but didn't define it which seems like a good idea!

We just downloaded life 360

We are also going to start therapy soon together so hopefully having that will let me let go of some of these issues I'm dealing with

Well I talked to him and he said he wants me to be 100% ready for him to take that next step before jumping in. I don't know how long that will take. My husband is being very patient with me. He did say that if months go by and I'm still not ready then I need to let go at that point and be on board.

To clarify it was his idea to open this up. I was interested but ok staying monogamous but he wanted me to explore because it was a turn on for him. He wants to explore too but he says hes ok waiting. Within the last few days though and having a really awesome few dates I've kinda had a shift in my thinking about monogamy and non mongamy and I'm feeling a lot more comfortable about all this.

I think I have also done some work. I hated the idea of my husband being with another person but over the last few days we have been talking about how things will go when he's with someone else so there is some work being done

Yeah that's more what I ment like do people actually say, ok hold up let me put on a condom so I can get a bj. It just doesn't seem like they actually work in practice for those things.

Can you elaborate as to how being open and transparent, communicating needs or concerns is not a good idea?

We were concerned about how we can protect ourselves and mitigate risk from stds and thought we could opt out of that but it sounds like a deal breaker so I guess we need to reevaluate that.

I ment more like, hey I'm OK texts when it's appropriate like the person is using the restroom

I guess I always assumed oral was a no barrier thing. Does it actually work in practice though

Well immediately after I went out on my first date I was like, it's not fair for me to to explore and not my husband. He has been patient with me and said hes OK to wait. I guess I'm more in the moment with the guy I'm dating thinking about that.