Til;dr: I (27F) want a somewhat open relationship with my partner (27M), but not sure to what extent or how to not fuck up.

We’ve been together 4,5 yrs and live together with our dog (lol sounds like we have a canine roommate). I’ve always wanted an open relationship, but have no successful experience.

He is not ready for me to be fully open - only sharing, and I don’t expect more than that - but I’ve been pretty vocal about me wanting him to be able to hook up. To hook up, you might need to date, and I don’t know how I feel about dates.

He recently met someone while out. He told me he almost made out with someone the day after, and felt guilty he didn’t tell me the night before. I thought it was weird of him to feel guilty, but turns out we were confused with our rules (haven’t talked about it in a while and he almost never goes out). I now find it weird he didn’t at least text/try to call while out, but I respect the mood killer this can be.

The timing and delivery of telling me was clumsy, but I want to deal with my own feelings without turning it into his problem (he happened to be out of town while I spent 6 hours at the vet with our sick dog, so I felt a bigger need for him to be close). He now mentions they’ve been chatting, and she invited him on a fun date.

I got emotional, and realised it’s because of the timing, but also that we don’t really do date nights, or dedicate nights to sexy time, although I’ve expressed this need (I love foreplay a lot more than him). I’ve also initiated and arranged date nights myself, and kinda waiting for him to do the same, since I’ve expressed this on more than one occasions.

How do I initiate a healthy conversation without sounding/being bitter and jealous? The emotions are there, but I don’t know how much space I need them to take, and how to do so properly.

All comments are appreciated.