My (43M) wife (38F) and I have been swingers for a number of years now. But she hasn't been active due to health, so she lets me go solo. Very recently I asked her if it would be okay for me to try to find a poly arrangement, so that I could find a stronger connection than I get from the average woman in the swinger community.

She was fine with me doing so, but she has a couple boundaries for me. One is that I can't actually fall in love with anyone. I never thought I actually would, but I can live with this (and I make sure my partners know, too). A stronger connection need not imply love.

The other is that she doesn't want me using the term "girlfriend" to describe anyone I'm seeing. I've asked her why, and she doesn't know why that word bothers her, but maybe it has cultural connections with "love?" I'm not sure, which is why I'm asking the community this: when do you use "boyfriend/girlfriend" and is your primary comfortable with those terms?

It's somewhat important at this point because I now do have a strong connection with a woman, who I see regularly, and who likes to call me one of her boyfriends.