I (22enby) am recently exploring non monogamy. I currently have one (23enby) partner. I have a lot of difficulties and insecurities concerning non monogamy (already talked about them on a previous post) and I'd like some advice to deal with one of them.

My gender expression varies a lot between masculine, androgynous and feminine. My partner shows appreciation and attraction for all these sides, but I'm extremely insecure and jealous when it comes to him being interested in feminine people, specially when they're black girls, since I'm a black AFAB and I don't always fulfill this role of femininity and sensuality that's expected from us. I see how people treat me differently because of this.

This specific situation makes me feel SO BAD, like I have a risk of losing him because they will be better than me/he will like them more and I'll be eventually left aside, even if he constantly shows his appreciation for me. This doesn't happen when he's interested in a guy. He could have any level of romantic and sexual intimacy with a guy and I couldn't care less.

I know that this insecurity doesn't come from non monogamy, but it's deeply rooted in me and has a strong impact on my relationships and my mental health. This is mostly a vent, but I'd like to have some advices about how to navigate these feelings...

Please be kind in the comments