Between the two of us, I (33F, bi-curious) have always been less monogamous than my husband (32M, straight, demi). Until now!

In college, he adopted this girl, K (32F), as his best friend/sister from another mister. As it sometimes goes, they each had crushes on each other at different times and it just never turned into anything romantic, but they connect on a soul level.

Honestly she gets him in a way that I don’t. I know that I’m the better life partner for him - they are too similar to one another for a happy household - but sometimes he just needs K time. I am happy he has her!

K is married to S (32M), and their relationship has not always been happy. They were on the verge of divorce within 2 years of being married; they went through 2 years of intensive couples and individual therapy, and they do seem much happier now; frankly, S has become a better person.

They moved to be close to us a year ago, and since they moved here we’ve done some risqué playing as a foursome- strip games, kissing games, full-on nude making out, but very minimal direct genital involvement. At this point, my husband is in love with K; I am deeply in lust with K; K wants us both; my husband and S have no sexual interest in each other; S is in lust with me; and I view S as a comfortable friend who I can kiss.

I have no interest in having sex with S, unless he’s spitroasting me with my husband - which, let’s be real, is more about the spitroasting than the person. I know that I can not force myself into sex acts with him just to smooth the way for my husband and K - and none of them want me to.

Sometimes I wish we hadn’t started swapping, that K and I could enjoy each other and the guys could enjoy us. But now the dynamic is off. I’ve openly told S that I’m not really attracted to him, and he is understandably hurt. E & K had a conversation about their relationship and are both yearning for each other. I am lusting for K, but her attention has been on my husband lately.

We have taken a long pause from playing because I’ve been pregnant and distinctly unhorny, and am now breastfeeding and getting my libido back. The approach to playing again is awkward. I don’t know how to navigate this dynamic smoothly in a way that everyone has fun without trying to suppress hurt feelings. I don’t know if it’s really even possible at this point? Which would be heartbreaking.