Last week Friday, Z (my husband of 14 years) asked for a divorce. We’ve been in therapy since 2019, polyamorous since 2015. We were in a triad with B for the last 2 1/2 years, B was living with us for the last year, they broke up with me in February. B and Z are still dating. Z had asked for a trial separation three weeks before, and I was going to be staying at C's house during that time in the guestroom.

Well instead, my husband asked for a divorce, I obviously was not OK, so I spent Friday and Saturday night at C‘s house (QPT wife of 5 years). Then, I escaped to the ocean with friends for Monday through Wednesday night, and came back to my house on Thursday. Radio silence from C, my wife of five years, all week long. Stuff with Z at the house is super awkward and very sad but cordial and polite. We don’t hate each other, he just doesn’t want to be married to me anymore“because he can’t support me anymore“. The issues with him are a whole different thing that is destroying me because he refuses to do the work.

Anyways, I reached out to C on Friday, was told that I was no longer welcome to stay at their place, and that their best friend was in town, and not to message them again. So we did not communicate all weekend. On Monday I woke up to a text that was sent at 5:24 in the morning saying that they wanted to “disengage from our connection." C rescinded the offer to stay with them, told me I was sabotaging my life by living with my spouse in the house that we own together. They told me that I was setting an embarrassing example for our bonus daughters, that I was letting a man take advantage of me, and that I was no longer welcome in their life or their house. I want to remind you that it’s been less than a week since Z asked for a divorce at this point.

So, to sum up in the last three weeks, I have been told my husband wants a divorce, my wife broke up with me via text, and I have to watch my spouse date the person who broke up with me to steal him away. Please help. What do I do? How do I take apart my life? How do I not feel like an utter complete failure?