My wife and I have been together for 15 years married for 8. We have young kids. We have a strong marriage with good communication and have our sexual ups and downs when life gets hectic

We have been swinging for 2 years and only full swapped with one couple regularly, some times one on ones and 3’s with them. No issues here.

Finding new couples is always hard for us both to click and it work out.

She brought up ENM and we agreed to explore it. And I just cannot get myself to be comfortable with her going out with a guy with me totally hands off. (Meaning I don’t know him or ever meet him). She wants to have that sexual release when we’re in a rut with someone other than me. I understand that. It has its own insecurities in my mind but that I’m working on.

We’re taking to a single guy now to do a threesom and I’m super excited about it

I am a jealous person and we have talked about it, and it is my Insecurities, but my jealousy turns me on (after the fact).

When she planned a meetup with a guy my anxiety shot through the roof and it had to get canceled. The idea of her being alone without me, not being able to protect her not being able to judge the guy myself before he is alone with her.

She has agreed to do the first meetup at our house with kids gone. And I’m there. But not in the room or involved. And I’m feeling better about this.

But how can I get through this? Why do I feel like this. It’s pissing her off that I’m trying to push myself in and be involved. She says I ruin the excitement if I push too much. I would rather this than her do it behind my back. But I’m trying to make it so I’m comfortable and ok with her going.

She is on this sub and will read this. She’s knows how I feel already. I’m just trying to see if I’m overthinking and being too overbearing.