My wife(30f) and I(35m) have been together almost three years. We agreed to be open when we first started dating. We discussed rules and boundaries but before either of us went out with other partners my wife became pregnant. While pregnant she lost her sex drive and was sex repulsed for her pregnancy and up until shortly after she stopped breastfeeding. During this time she encouraged me to find other partners, but I didn't because I don't feel comfortable seeing other people if I am not being intimate with my wife. To me the open relationship is extra fun on the side, not a replacement for intimacy in my primary relationship.
Once my wife regained her sex drive, we started sleeping together again. I told her I was considering looking for other partners because I felt comfortable with it now that we where being together. Within a week of that conversation she went out and hooked up with a man she knew from work, who has since become a regular FWB. She has also been out with several other men for one night stands. And we did have one mmf threesome together (I am bi). I, on the other hand, have never been great at talking to women and I have had trouble finding a partner. I was ok with this because I still have my wife, but she started going out pretty often. Almost every weekend with two nights on some weekends.
Last week I talked to her because I was feeling neglected and wanted more time with her. When I asked her to take one night a weekend to spend with me, she was reluctant. It led to a fight where she ultimately disclosed that she feels like she is unattractive with me because of me mentioning looking for other partners right after she was regaining her libido, and because of some other issues that I won't discuss, but where clear fuck ups on my part that I should not have done. She has told me that she doesn't want to have sex with me for the time being, while we go on dates with each other and try to rebuild our connection. But she still wants to go be with other partners during this time. This has made me emotionally distraught and I have tried expressing this to my wife, but she isn't a very emotional person and can separate sex from emotion completely, seeing sex as just a fun physical activity, so she doesn't want to stop seeing other people. This has led to more fighting which ultimately led to her saying she wants a divorce. We talked about it and she agreed to try marriage counseling because she says she still loves me. But she is still planning on going out Friday night. I don't know how to deal with this. I know Friday night is gonna be really hard for me. I wish she would just refrain from going out while we work on our relationship issues. I also have ADHD so it's really hard to distract myself and stop my mind from thinking about it. I don't know what to do.