To start with, I’ve been with my boyfriend over a year and in the first two months we decided we wanted to have a threesome.

I’m finally letting this out as I need some common sense talking and just someone to offer genuine advice.

We were together three months when we had the first threesome and it went terribly - it was with his ex. I know it shouldn’t have happened but it did. It was great to start with and then I slowly started to feel sad mainly when they started playing and laughing and I realised he still had feelings gs for her.

They played like kids and he was very cutesy around her, giving her almost half his cd set, and squeezing her cheeks. Then they went downstairs and it was clear they had chemistry. She was playing with his sister and he was very engaged. It was the happiest and most active I’d really seen him.

Tbh, after that threesome things felt very distanced and different between us especially for a relationship so early on. I didn’t know what to do and we stuck it out and I stayed.

He set up a bath for me early in our relationship when I told him I’d never had one and it was such a huge display of love to me. The nicest thing anyone had ever done. He says he loves me a lot and has talked about how, with his ex - she went mental towards the end of their relationship and split on him which is why they broke up. They both had bpd so it was a very turmoiled relationship.

My big worry is - in the time we spent together I’ve seen that he messages (probably because he thinks it’s okay since our threesome) - and has tried to call her when he was having a breakdown, which he didn’t tell me about.

I’m not sure how to assess this situation. I’m not sure how to feel at all.