I’ve been seeing A (M37) for about nine months. It’s been explosive, romantic, intense, and transformative. I prefer non-monogamy but I can do mono as well. I always discuss this with potential partners so there’s no misunderstandings about the relationship. A told me he wanted to get to know each other exclusively so that’s what I’ve been doing.

I’m currently sat in his house waiting for him to come back from work and I’ve found out that he’s been seeing other women, one as recently as two days ago. I don’t know the extent of these interactions but it’s definitely physical. The initial shock has worn off and all I feel is foolish. I asked several times through our relationship if he wanted to be more open because of instances of flirting and kissing but he was adamant about being mono and I just acquiesced. I closed off potential connections because I thought we were focusing on each other. Right before he left we got into a bit of a disagreement because of something in my past that bothered him. I’m feeling horrible about it, all the while he’s fooling around on the side.

What kills me is that I’d be okay with with it if he would just tell me. He knows I’m open to that. Why lie? Rant over, I’m just disappointed. I just want an open relationship without the sneaking around.