Hi. I (NB 20) am in a relationship with my boyfriend( M21) and I think it has genuinely convinced me I don’t believe in love anymore. This might be kind of a longer post as it’s been a wild year but if u feel like reading u can I’m just ranting really. It all started a year ago. We met through a mutual friend and we’re dating within two weeks. I thought we loved each other. He told me I was his best friend, the love of his life,that he wanted me in his life forever and I thought I felt the same. I worked at chic fil a as an autistic black queer dread head with piercings and they bullied me every shift just so I could make sure that we both ate, mind you he didn’t have a job and his parents could afford to buy him food he was just too embarrassed to ask. But I worked hard to take care of him. When we first started our relationship he explained he needed it to be open so that when he met someone he wasn’t limited in what he could do with them romantically, and he is the one who set the standard that he would only be raw in me. Fast forward to us separating for a few months because of college break. He plans on hooking up with ppl and I ask him to wear a condom. Now I’m somehow controlling and impending on his free will when this is a standard he set. He goes to see a guy he’s hooking up with and I ask him to tell the guy he has a boyfriend again I’m being jealous and controlling, but with his friend having to ask Ik everything about him. He goes in to say if a friend ask he would’ve ate it but because I was his boyfriend it was too stressful for me to ask that of him, but I’m supposed to be his best friend. Now he’s basically informed me that he doesn’t want to date rn but when he does he’ll probably break up with me so he isn’t limited in what he does romantically with them…😐. At this point I do genuinely believe he’s using me and I’m traumatized enough to let him. I don’t think either one of us actually feel love for each other and I don’t even think the emotion actually exist. The more I think about my life and how I got here the more I realize love is fake and relationships are pointless. Before I met him I had already given up on love and I had thought I found it but as per usual it’s just a man who’ll take advantage of anything he can and a dumbass who’ll let him and give him head for it 🤦🏾‍♂️.