Posting here so that I can crosspost to other relevant subreddits.

I say this all as a solo-and-partnered bisexual woman who occasionally seeks other couples out. There’s a LOT of conversation out there when it comes to supply vs. demand of unicorns vs. unicorn hunters. But nobody ever brings up the fact that generally, solo bisexual women usually aren’t exclusively looking for MF couples.

So, not only is a MF couple competing against the two-dozen other MF couples looking for their “third,” they’re also competing against all other couples who are looking for a bisexual woman (MM/FF/MX/FX/XX/etc.). Generally, those other couple makeups aren’t exclusively seeking a bisexual woman, so they have other options. This is a BENEFIT to those other couples because they’ll be less desperate and have more nonmonogamy/threesome experience under their belt. The odds of the situation exploding are lowered, and that’s a green flag.

On top of that, that MF couple also has to compete against other solos of all genders. Solo bisexual/heterosexual men, solo bisexual/homosexual women, and other people of all sorts of gender identities seeking women.

And ON TOP OF THAT…. Most of us have other partners already that we see regularly or semi-regularly. A lot of us need to determine if potential partners are worth the effort of doing online smalltalk, scheduling a public date, making sure the rules are all laid out, scheduling the threesome, and then getting dolled up for the threesome. Compare that to thumbing through my metaphorical Rolodex of partners to see if someone’s available on a Friday night. I already know the sex and/or kink will be good, I know they’ll match my risk profile and won’t throw a fit about condoms, I know they’ll be respectful and drama-free, and I know the chemistry will be there. Risk vs. reward, cost vs. benefit.

My biggest advice to couples who are only looking for a threesome (aside from “look into escort services”) is to go to IRL SFW meet and greets. That takes two of those above steps out of the occasion. I know I’m not going to be hounded for sex that night, I can check the local scene to see if anyone intrigues me, and go from there. If you’re not exclusively seeking threesomes, find your local clubs and sex parties and see if you can make any connections.