i recently met this guy and we hung out a few times and it was wonderful- i am not looking for anything romantically intimate right now nor am i open to building towards committed partnership as i am enjoying being my own partner after the end of a long-term relationship. but i do not want casual no-strings attached sex, i am looking for emotional intimacy, physical intimacy and sexual intimacy but all rooted in loving and caring friendship. it's very aligned with what he is open for as well, as he has a primary partner and while she isn't new to polyamory, he is.

anyways! in person for the month we knew each other it was great and we have wonderful communciation! now i am away for two months and was like okay i can handle that we will just play it by ear while we are away and no biggie. now i found out that when i get back we will overlap for maybe a week or two and then he will be away for a month! idk why but that extra time really just threw me.... since i left we have been figuring out how much we want to talk, with me taking the lead on what works for me.

we landed for now on facetiming/phone call for an hour once a week and have been sexting a lot in between. i feel so much secure attachment when we are in person and when we are texting or talking on the phone, but when we aren't talking i am so in my head about it. even though i don't *want* to be talking to him more than once a week. i think we are sexting a bit too much and then not having after-care, and i am just worried about our relationship developing too much virtually. and a bit overwhelmed that we won't be in the same place casually for so much longer. i'm just not sure if we should just take space and reconnect when we are both in the same place, talk less regularly, sext less regularly, if i just need to relax or what.

i am going to talk it through with him this week as i've only been gone for like 2 1/2 weeks and i just got into my head about it this week. all i know is, it felt so easy with him in person and it still feels easy when we talk but i'm just thinking about it more than i want to be as i just want to be in my own life while i'm away.

tldr; newly sleeping with a friend, now we won't be in the same place for ~3 months. should we talk or not or somewhere in between?

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