I don’t really know if I’m looking for advice or what, but I just would like some input or a soundboard or something.

When I first met my boyfriend he was married to a woman I’ll call A. I also knew that A had a best friend who’s a lesbian who I’ll call G. Over time, the three of them, my boyfriend, A, and G moved in together. Maybe a year or two later, A tells my boyfriend she’s queer and wants a divorce. My boyfriend was sad but understanding. They separated, and now A and G live together. I think because it hurts too much, my boyfriend has avoided asking about the details of A and G’s relationship, but they are always together and will take each other to visit each other’s family, which sounds very much like a romantic relationship to me.

I just wonder if this (suspected, but unconfirmed) relationship started when my boyfriend and his wife were still together in secret, in which case I feel really angry on his behalf. Considering she never disclosed her and G’s relationship as anything but a friendship, despite the fact that they had an open marriage, it sounds like cheating to me.

I don’t know if he’s come to this conclusion or not, but he’s never expressed it, nor does he seem angry with her. They’re still close, understandably, they are truly family to each other, they’ve been in each other’s lives for so long. I just don’t know how to feel, or whether it’s any of my business, or if my suspicions are a result of my own unaddressed homophobia or what. Just would like to hear some other opinions, input, etc