I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. We've been together 8,5 years and in a sort of dead bedroom for 4 years. I'm very kinky, he isn't. We've had a thousand talks and discussions, and nothing ever changed. Beginning of this year I broke down and told him we either open the marriage or I'm leaving. He agreed and I've been seeing a few people which he is okay with (but still needs time to process sometimes). I feel so much better in myself since opening, my self-confidence is so much better and I feel happier. But: I feel like I'm drifting away from him even more now. Now that I've experienced better sex, it's so much harder for me to fake the happiness. I love him, I've shared more than 8 years with him and we're married. The thought of breaking up with him used to be torture but now it doesn't bother me that much. I feel like I'm just keeping him around because it's convenient for me but like I'm lying to his face. Has anyone experienced this feeling?