Hey guys.

I (M25) have been together with my fiancee (F24) for 10 years. We were each others 2nd boyfriend/girlfriend and were each others first and only sexual partner. I love her dearly and do enjoy the sex that we have, when we do have it. But she has a really low drive while I'm extremely high. I came out to her and myself 4 years ago after living in denial for so long. She took it ok and brought up the idea of a hall pass for things she couldn't do. I didnt approach it at the time because emotions were high and didnt want her to feel pressured. Months later I'm getting hit on by our male waiter while we're out to dinner and she was making a lot of jokes and didnt seem bothered. Later on I mentioned trying and getting that guys phone number from her friend that worked there and she did not take well to that. Dont know if it was bad timing because it was around the holidays. Im very kinky and she isnt. In fact, all of our sex is rather vanilla besides the occasional collar and me calling her mommy. She doesn't like giving blowjobs so I don't ask but will eat her out any time. I brought up pegging to scratch that itch, and while it began as an absolute no for her, she tried it a few times but is disgusted with anything to do with my ass. Its hard to enjoy it when you know the other person really doesn't like it at all. I want to marry her and start a family but at the same time never having explored that part of myself eats me up on the inside and that I think I can see myself as polyamorous. The issue is she is monogamous and has a jealous streak, at least with women, and I wouldn't want any other woman but her, but at the same time I'd love some kind of relationship with a man.

For those that were in similar situations, how did you approach it? She has low self esteem and has always had the thought that one day I'll leave her. I don't want to leave her, I just feel it eating up at me.

Thanks!